Recovering from an Extramarital Affair
When evaluating, stopping, and recovering from an extramarital affair:
- You may initially feel depression and even a strong sense of 'withdrawal'. Specific boundaries being established will help to address the 'withdrawal' and confusion.
- Your partner's trauma should be considered, as they learn of the infidelity ('Disclosure')
- While 'disclosure' is usually necessary, most forms of disclosure (i.e., 'discovery', 'staggered', etc.) are traumatizing and damaging. Alternatively, a professionally-informed (with assured confidentiality) form of disclosure is considered to be the safest and best approach.
- New boundaries and purposeful communication will be necessary to aid in relationship recovery. It is important to understand the personal wounds and dysfunction that contributed to the affair occurring.
- There are systematic methods of communicating that will decrease the spouse's yearning for control, as your spouse will be 'triggered' less. Transparency, communication, and adhering to boundaries will be important.